Andersen Joy Evangeline Tillman
It was seemingly a normal pregnancy, except for the fact that it was the hottest East Coast summer I had ever experienced. But nothing could have prepared us for what the third trimester would bring.
During my 32-week anatomy scan, the ultrasound revealed that Andie was measuring about three weeks behind where she should be. The doctors diagnosed her with IUGR, or Intrauterine Growth Restriction, meaning she wasn’t receiving enough nutrients from the placenta through the umbilical cord. They advised that I come in for check-ups twice a week to monitor the umbilical pulse and ensure she was getting adequate nutrition. On the days in between, I was instructed to spend an hour counting her kicks—calling the doctor if she didn’t reach ten kicks in that time. You can imagine how much I overthought those kicks: Was that a hiccup? A somersault? Or just gas?
Each check-up indicated that the umbilical pulse was less than ideal, but she remained stable. Despite the frequent appointments, we had to wait two weeks before measuring her again. By the 34-week scan, we learned that she had fallen further behind. Instead of measuring at 34 weeks, she was now measuring at 28 weeks. The doctors had hoped she would gain two pounds in that time, but she had only gained three ounces. That’s when the doctor recommended that I be induced as soon as possible. I received two steroid shots within the next 24 hours to help develop her lungs, and our induction appointment was set for the following evening at 9 PM.
As a type A personality, I had already created an Excel sheet outlining everything we would need while my parents were out of town, ensuring that the big kids could stay on their schedules. Joseph wouldn’t be able to take paternity leave right away since Andie wasn’t originally due until the week before Thanksgiving.
Thankfully, our community stepped up to ease my worries, even offering help with childcare. Huge thanks to Jacob for volunteering to take Charlie and Greyson to track practice!
When we arrived for the induction, they monitored me for at least two hours to establish a baseline for both my health and Andie’s. However, during the first hour, her heart rate began to drop, which alarmed the doctor. We discussed our options, weighing the risks of a vaginal delivery through induction against an elective C-section. Both my previous births with Charlie and Greyson were vaginal, so I preferred that route. However, given Andie’s size, I didn’t want to have regrets later if her little body couldn’t handle the contractions and stress of delivery—ultimately leading to an emergency C-section.
After consulting with the NICU team, nurses, doctors, and my OB, Joseph and I decided on a C-section. We just wanted to get her into the world so she could receive the nutrition she needed and continue growing in a safe environment.
A few hours later, they wheeled me into the operating room and began the procedure. I hadn’t anticipated how strong the medication would be, and feeling so numb took away from the experience of truly embracing Andie once she was born. That was difficult for me, but at the end of the day, I was grateful she was out!
Joseph was able to spend most of the day with Andie after her delivery at 6 AM. I was supposed to remain in the post-op area for two hours before visiting her in the NICU. However, about an hour after surgery, my heart rate dropped dramatically, and I began experiencing chest pains. My resting heart rate had been in the 40s and 50s due to the anesthesia, but when it fell into the 30s, the trauma response team rushed in—about four or five nurses, the cardiac team, and someone with paddles ready to shock me if necessary. Thankfully, the pain and low heart rate lasted only a few minutes and didn’t occur again that day. Still, I required monitoring by a cardiologist and an EKG later in the hospital.
Fast-forward to that evening—12 hours after my delivery—and I still hadn’t seen Andie. As the anesthesia wore off, I was in pain, emotional, and desperate to see my baby. The transfer team that wheeled me from my post-op room to the EKG hit every bump and door frame along the way, making it an uncomfortable experience. (Don’t worry; I left a review and have since spoken with hospital administrators.) This experience overwhelmed me, and Joseph had to step in to advocate for me, ensuring I could see Andie as soon as possible.
Recovery was already proving to be challenging.
Our sweet Andersen was born on October 17 at 5:42 AM, weighing 3 lbs. 4 oz. at 34 weeks. She spent 2.5 weeks in the NICU and is such a fighter! Just one day after her birth, she no longer needed her oxygen tube. A couple of days later, they moved her feeding tube from her mouth to her nose, as she was already showing signs of being ready to suck from a bottle. Within a week, she was taking 90% of her feedings by bottle, with the remainder being tube-fed to ensure she received all the necessary nutrients to grow.
I’m grateful for Charlie and Greyson’s innocence during this time. They didn’t realize that a baby is “supposed” to come home after birth. Instead, they were more concerned about me staying in the hospital for four nights. When I explained that Andie would be there for a few weeks, they simply thought she was having a sleepover. This perspective helped me process my own emotions about her time in the NICU without also navigating their feelings.
A family of five—wow! I never would have imagined this is how my pregnancy would end, but I’m so thankful that God knew all along what our path would be. He never gave me more than I could handle and has allowed me to build an incredible community in Montclair and the surrounding neighborhoods, ensuring that everything could stay on track, food would be provided, and the kids wouldn’t miss a beat amid the chaos.
Most importantly, I want to acknowledge Joseph. His calm nature and ability to process the situation logically alongside my heightened emotions were exactly what I needed. His advocacy, love, and support throughout this entire process have been unmatched. I can’t express enough how thankful I am that he was by my side during this experience—all while managing his full-time job and preparing to take paternity leave when November rolls around. I love you, babe.
